i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
