Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
