Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
