If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
