If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
