remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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