these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
