i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
