went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
