You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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