i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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