At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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