My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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