I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
