I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize