lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
