what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
