If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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