Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
