This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
