And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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