why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
