Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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