Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize