I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
