i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The Olympian is in my bed
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
