Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There's even glitter on my cock...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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