Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
third nipple confirmed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
