Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
