u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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