New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
