This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I need water and some morals
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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