Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
