Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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