drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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