doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
