Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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