Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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