Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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