the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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