On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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