filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
