she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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