Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
