Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I love you. Go after that dick
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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