STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
