I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
