Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
