They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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