i'm lost and i look like a hooker
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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