Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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