I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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