How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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