Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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