I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
