I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
