nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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